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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

Just shared via TikTok:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Making waves on Messenger:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Shared recently on Reddit:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Spotted on Reddit:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Reported on Discord:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Freshly posted on X:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Spotted on Instagram:

I want him in ways that are deeply deeply upsetting to modern feminism.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Just landed via Twitch:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

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