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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Got banned from the sauna at my gym for saying “steam me up, Scotty” a few too many times.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Fun fact: Malcolm X was not his birth name. He was originally Malcolm Twitter.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

Just shared via TikTok:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Trending via WeChat:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Trending via Facebook:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Just landed via Threads:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’ve done the math: If the month had 10 days, I would get by with my money.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Some people change their faces like traffic lights change their lights.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

You don’t need fun to have alcohol.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Shared recently on X:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Just landed via Snapchat:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

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