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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

The more I use social media, the more I see why children shouldn’t.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,644

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Breaking via WeChat:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Spotted on Reddit:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Trending via WeChat:

There are two wolves inside me, but please no one tell my landlord.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

For my final act of love, I will never contact you again, but think of you always.

Freshly posted on X:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Freshly posted on Discord:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Freshly posted on X:

Apple’s secret growth engine: vibe coders paying the $99 Apple Developer Program fee.

Just landed via Messenger:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Telegram this month:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Someone at work is gonna suggest you download Outlook and Teams on your phone, and it’s very important that you don’t listen to them.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

34 shares on Messenger this month:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

95 shares on Facebook this month:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I will sit in the rain about this.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,683

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I let my girl wear whatever because you’re staring, and I’m hittin’ that.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Wonder if I should do something with my life, or kind of just continue to hang out.

Making waves on Instagram:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

Just shared via Instagram:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Live now on Threads:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Breaking via WeChat:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

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