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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I believe libraries are our proof that we once valued curiosity.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Most attractive muscle on a man? The frontal lobe. Fully developed.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

In banana years, I am bread.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

The phrase “Treat yourself” has ruined my bank account and waistline.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I eat cake because it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,574

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

Trending via Discord:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Going viral on Discord:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Just shared via Telegram:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Just landed via X:

I hope this email kills us both.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Daniel Craig leaving Bond to become Benoit Blanc is one of the best things to ever happen.

Going viral on TikTok:

Never eat more than you can lift.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Slack this month:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

35 shares on Slack this month:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

57 shares on Slack this month:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

87 shares on Messenger this month:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

51 shares on X this month:

LinkedIn: where you desperately hope that one idiot you had a drink with six years ago can somehow help get you a job.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

44 shares on Slack this month:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,332

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I would do anything for a job, except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Live now on Pinterest:

I can’t wait to hit my 80s & run for Congress.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Breaking via TikTok:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Live now on Reddit:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Just shared via Reddit:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Just landed via WeChat:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Going viral on Reddit:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Seen just now on Threads:

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

Spotted on Discord:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

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