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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Making waves on Telegram:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Just landed via YouTube:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Breaking via Threads:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Just landed via Reddit:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Just shared via WeChat:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

Going viral on TikTok:

You give my middle finger an erection.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

Going viral on TikTok:

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

Breaking via X:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Spotted on Facebook:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Making waves on Facebook:

I hate people that talk to their Apple watch. Fake Power Rangers.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Trending via Pinterest:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

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