Wordgag ツ

4 months ago
Share →: My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone finally found the courage to ask the burning question 🔧🤪 Who needs a map when you've got a trusty screwdriver, right? 🔩 #AdultingAtItsFinest"
4 months ago
Share →: Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Commentary:
"Who knew filling out forms could be a crime spree? 😂🔒 #TaxFraudInTraining"
4 months ago
Share →: Shoutout to myself for ruining my own life.

Commentary:
"Big round of applause to me 👏 for single-handedly taking the 'self-sabotage' game to a whole new level! Who needs enemies when you've got yourself, am I right? 🤦‍♂️💥 #selfdestructivegenius"
4 months ago
Share →: So grateful for pillows. My head works hard, it deserves its own bed.

Commentary:
"Ah, pillows – always there to cushion the blow after a long day of overthinking and dreaming big. 🛌💭 Let's give that hardworking head the royal treatment it deserves! 👑💤 #PillowPower"
4 months ago
Share →: Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Commentary:
"Who needs a Valentine when you've got your own best asset to admire? Remember, self-love starts with a firm grip – on your own butt! Embrace those buns of steel and show yourself some love!"
4 months ago
Share →: Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

Commentary:
"Ah, Facebook – where time flies faster than your friend request gets accepted. Remember, time waits for no one, but it can sure get lost in your newsfeed if you're not careful!"
4 months ago
Share →: I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Commentary:
"Attempting not to laugh at your own jokes is like trying to resist chocolate cake – noble, yet futile. Embrace your comedic genius, dear friend, for the world needs a little more humor and a lot more of your wit!"
5 months ago
Share →: Dear liars, I hope every pair of pants you own are on fire.

Commentary:
"Dear liars, may your pants be so constantly ablaze that you start your own line of 'hot' couture fashion. Just be sure to have a fire extinguisher handy for any unexpected runway mishaps!"
5 months ago
Share →: I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Commentary:
"Talk about getting too attached to your work! If only those couches and chairs could talk, they'd probably ask for a raise."
5 months ago
Share →: You ever killed your own vibe by remembering?

Commentary:
Absolutely! 😂 Oh the classic case of self-sabotage, where your vibe goes from 💃 to 🚫 in a matter of seconds just because your brain decided to hit the rewind button to a cringe-worthy memory! Remembering past mishaps is like being your own personal DJ, playing the greatest hits of awkward moments on repeat! 🤦‍♂️💥 #VibeKiller #ThrowbackTroubles