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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

8 minutes ago

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Just landed via Messenger:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Just shared via Instagram:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Shared recently on Reddit:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Going viral on Facebook:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end and tomorrow to start.

Going viral on TikTok:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Reported on Slack:

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Home » Funny Palm Quotes

Funny palm quotes

New funny palm quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Commentary:
Attempting to shake hands with a palm tree is an ambitious endeavor! 🌴🤝🤣
5 months ago
Share →: His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Commentary:
Looks like this guy’s palm trees have bigger travel plans than most of us 🌴✈️💼 Perhaps his luggage is heavy because he’s packed everything but the kitchen sink for those Serengeti vibes! 😂🦒 #DestinationWeddingGoals #Eminem

For even more funny palm quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny palm quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

810 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,972

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,972

8 minutes ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Trending via Telegram:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Shared recently on Discord:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Spotted on X:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Spotted on Instagram:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Breaking via Discord:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

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