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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I need a leaf blower, but for people.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on WhatsApp:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Just landed via X:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Making waves on TikTok:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Shared recently on Instagram:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Spotted on Pinterest:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Just shared via Discord:

I’m sorry I roasted you, I was trying to flirt.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Spotted on Discord:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Booked an escape room but just to get away from everyone. No plans of escaping.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Spotted on Telegram:

Alcohol is a vicious cycle: regret, recovery, repeat.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Shared recently on Discord:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Live now on Messenger:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Just shared via WeChat:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Reported on WeChat:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Seen just now on Threads:

My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

Spotted on TikTok:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

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