Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

My favorite emails are the ones that say your order has shipped.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I should’ve been a crow. They get to fly around looking goth as hell and seeking retribution. Instead, I have to go to an office and work on my ‘people skills.’

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,752

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Spotted on Discord:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Going viral on Slack:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Shared recently on Discord:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

Live now on X:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Home » Funny Pears Quotes

Funny pears quotes

New funny pears quotes 👇

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

0

2 months ago

ago, couple, days, excuse, fruit, humor, i, pears, procrastination, ripened, sorry

All funny pears quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Discord this month:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

26 shares on Discord this month:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Live now on Facebook:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Just shared via X:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Broadcasted on X:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Just shared via Slack:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Live now on Facebook:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Funny pears quotes

New funny pears quotes 👇

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

All funny pears quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨