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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

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3,296

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Spotted on X:

I would do anything for a job, except write a cover letter.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Seen just now on Discord:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Live now on Telegram:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sarcastically saying “you’re welcome” to the people who don’t say thank you when I hold the door for them is something I’ll never stop doing.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Trending via Telegram:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Funny Pedro Pascal quotes

New funny Pedro Pascal quotes 👇

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

3 months ago

brag, celebrity, creation, dream, God, humor, i, making, pascal, pedro, Pedro Pascal, saw

All funny Pedro Pascal quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Facebook this month:

I wanna date someone cuter than me, but sadly I am the cutest.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

34 shares on Instagram this month:

My life would be pointless without cheese. Or as the famous song goes: “Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone!”

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

46 shares on Discord this month:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

72 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

This is the dumbest apocalypse ever.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Making waves on Messenger:

Hired a financial advisor, and his first piece of advice was that I don’t make nearly enough money to justify paying a financial advisor.

Making waves on Facebook:

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Spotted on Twitch:

I woke up deciding to incorporate the parkour lifestyle into my daily life then reconsidered as I fell over again putting my jeans on.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My fridge turns into a food retirement home, as soon as I buy groceries.

Just shared via WeChat:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

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Funny Pedro Pascal quotes

New funny Pedro Pascal quotes 👇

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

All funny Pedro Pascal quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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