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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Controlling your anger at work is a job in itself.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

You can make a salad without lettuce if you want, there are no rules.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Making waves on X:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Spotted on YouTube:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Spotted on Facebook:

Instead of writing LOL, I’m going to start writing SALTS (smiled a little, then stopped). It’s more accurate.

Just shared via YouTube:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

Just landed via Slack:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2249 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,411

Funny Quotes Topics

15,118

Funny Quotes Images

12,411

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Garlic bread is my therapist now.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

“I have a favourite hole”, me, at the pool table.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Reported on Twitch:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Just landed via Facebook:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Making waves on X:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

Making waves on Telegram:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Spotted on TikTok:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Making waves on Facebook:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

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