Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Eating trail mix should count as hiking.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,563

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

If you’re looking for a wild woman, I just took all of my vitamins in one gulp.

Trending via Telegram:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Seen just now on X:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Making waves on Telegram:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Live now on X:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Funny plant care quotes

Funny plant care quotes 🌿 bring a burst of laughter to every green thumb’s day! Whether you’re a seasoned plant parent or just starting your jungle journey, these witty sayings 🌱 add a splash of humor to watering woes and sunlight struggles ☀️. Get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even snort as you celebrate the quirky side of nurturing your leafy friends 🍃!

New funny plant care quotes 👇

All funny plant care quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Discord this month:

I would really like to meet this “other candidate” who keeps taking all the jobs I’ve been applying to.

61 shares on Slack this month:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

77 shares on Discord this month:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Donnie Darko was also ahead of its time because the guy’s haunted by a giant Labubu.

74 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

65 shares on Threads this month:

Can’t be sexting when you’re somewhat articulate. You just sound like a vampire.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,569

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Everything is a sign from God if you’re schizophrenic enough.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t that thing I’ve been ignoring until it became a giant problem.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

I like that linguists chose the term ‘loan words,’ implying that one day we’ll get them back.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Live now on Facebook:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Live now on WhatsApp:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Trending via X:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I have lots of hidden talents. The problem is, even I can’t find them.

Just landed via YouTube:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Going viral on X:

Just a little reminder to laugh as much as you can, stay hydrated, and don’t let shitty people kill your vibe.

Going viral on WeChat:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

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