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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Please, if you ever offer me a snack and I say no, ask me again, I didn’t mean it the first time.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Making waves on Twitch:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

Just shared via X:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Statistically speaking, people don’t object enough at weddings.

Trending via Pinterest:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Just landed via Reddit:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Breaking via WeChat:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Making waves on YouTube:

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Just landed via WeChat:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Making waves on Slack:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Just shared via Facebook:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Going viral on Threads:

Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

Spotted on Threads:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Making waves on Facebook:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

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