Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,576

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Just shared via Instagram:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Just landed via X:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Trending via TikTok:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

Making waves on Reddit:

That moment when you have to restart a song because the conversations in your head got too loud and you missed half the song.

Just landed via Instagram:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Making waves on YouTube:

Line dancing was created by women waiting to use the restroom.

Just shared via Instagram:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Going bananas on Discord:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

21 Funny position quotes

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Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Just peed so much that a little laugh came out.

49 shares on X this month:

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m no Hobbit, but I do often walk blindly into some rather dodgy situations.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

58 shares on Slack this month:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

62 shares on Discord this month:

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been blocked by better.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

May you heal from that fanfic that never got updated.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,419

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Having a job ruined my life.

Trending via Twitch:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Trending via Messenger:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Going viral on Twitch:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Trending via Facebook:

Sometimes I struggle to adjust to civilian life after coming home from the movies.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Live now on Pinterest:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

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