Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I’ve realized there’s more to life than social media, so I guess this is goodbye for the next 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Trending via Pinterest:

Ever since I was a little kid I always knew I wanted to struggle to survive.

Trending via Pinterest:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Making waves on Slack:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Seen just now on X:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Just shared via WeChat:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Going viral on Facebook:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Home » Funny Profiteer Quotes

Funny profiteer quotes

New funny profiteer quotes 👇

For even more funny profiteer quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny profiteer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

763 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,925

Funny Quotes Topics

13,894

Funny Quotes Images

10,925

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Spotted on WeChat:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Spotted on Twitch:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Just landed via Slack:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Just shared via TikTok:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Making waves on Telegram:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Making waves on Threads:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴