Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,319

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Going bananas on Threads:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Going viral on X:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Live now on Snapchat:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Live now on Reddit:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Going viral on Facebook:

The funniest thing about 28 Years Later is that the rest of the world just went “Uhm, anyway!” and carried on as normal, while the Brits live in hell.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Funny protocol quotes

New funny protocol quotes 👇

All funny protocol quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

21 shares on X this month:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

69 shares on Slack this month:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

91 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

85 shares on Discord this month:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

54 shares on Slack this month:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a poorly timed joke that makes everyone feel weird.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Simplicity is so complicated.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone is either engaged, at a run club, doing their master’s, or in Japan.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,518

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

It’s strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That’s just watching paint that’s already dry.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Shared recently on Slack:

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Going viral on Pinterest:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Going viral on Telegram:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Spotted on Reddit:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Making waves on Discord:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Spotted on TikTok:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Making waves on Discord:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

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