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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

All the smart people at the office are worried about being replaced by A.I., but not me. I’m safe until they invent Artificial Stupidity.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2129 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,291

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,291

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Trending via Telegram:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Spotted on Slack:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Spotted on Facebook:

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Trending via Facebook:

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Making waves on WeChat:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Going viral on Snapchat:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

Home » Funny Raking Quotes

Funny raking quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2129 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,291

Funny Quotes Topics

15,017

Funny Quotes Images

12,291

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,452

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

Went to an antique show and people started bidding on me.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Reported on Slack:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Just shared via Reddit:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Making waves on Reddit:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Just landed via Messenger:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Making waves on X:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Reported on Reddit:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Trending via Slack:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

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