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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

It’s important that everyone takes really good pictures of me this summer.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Spotted on Discord:

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be justwater.

Spotted on Instagram:

I took a pole and found that 100% of people in the tent were angry.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Trending via YouTube:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Just shared via Slack:

Okay, seen enough, someone put a blanket over my cage.

Trending via Messenger:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Making waves on Twitch:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Just shared via YouTube:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

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