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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

If I’m too much for you, then go and find less.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Making waves on Pinterest:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Seen just now on Discord:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Just shared via X:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Just landed via WeChat:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

Spotted on WeChat:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Just shared via WeChat:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Making waves on Instagram:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

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Funny relationship tips quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Beavers are so funny. Why are you a little rat doing hydraulic engineering?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Reported on Snapchat:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Trending via Twitch:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Just shared via Twitch:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Shared recently on Threads:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Just shared via YouTube:

Losing and then immediately gaining weight is my superpower.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Spotted on Threads:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

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