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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

For those who don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they’re making a male version that doesn’t listen to anything.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,660

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Just landed via Twitch:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Making waves on Slack:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Trending via Discord:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Going viral on Discord:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Shared recently on Threads:

With great power comes a huge electric bill.

Going viral on Threads:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

Trending via WeChat:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Funny retail experience quotes

New funny retail experience quotes 👇

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

0

2 months ago

activity, choices, experience, fun, fun activity, humor, life, life choices, people, perspective, retail, retail experience, shopping, types, types of people, Walmart, world

Someone from 🇪🇷 has recently bookmarked this quote.

117 shares on Pinterest this month.

All funny retail experience quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on WeChat this month:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

50 shares on Instagram this month:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

37 shares on Threads this month:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

20 shares on Threads this month:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

23 shares on Facebook this month:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I never get as envious of parents as I do when their baby starts crying and they get to leave the event.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

The money I made gradually, you need urgently?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Just landed via Messenger:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Spotted on Threads:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Just landed via TikTok:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Seen just now on X:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny retail experience quotes

New funny retail experience quotes 👇

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

All funny retail experience quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨