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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Will probably never be loved, but I have to send emails, so I can’t really think about that right now.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

The only thing you can count on with some people is that you can’t count on them.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,526

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Seen just now on Telegram:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Making waves on Discord:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Spotted on X:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Spotted on YouTube:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Shared recently on Discord:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Spotted on Facebook:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Funny Roman numeral quotes

New funny Roman numeral quotes 👇

All funny Roman numeral quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

95 shares on Slack this month:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why didn’t Scooby Doo smell that the ghosts were human?

72 shares on Twitch this month:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

55 shares on Threads this month:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

The peace of not knowing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

To the spirits in my walls: going to the store, be right back.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,665

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Breaking via Facebook:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Going bananas on Facebook:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Trending via Snapchat:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Shared recently on Reddit:

What age will I grow out of not answering the door when I’m home and sneaking around the house to find out who’s knocking?

Seen just now on Twitch:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

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