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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Wanna go back to my place and meow at each other?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I wish rolling your eyes burned calories.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,300

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Broadcasted on X:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Breaking via YouTube:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Just shared via Messenger:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Spotted on Twitch:

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Trending via WeChat:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Seen just now on Discord:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Funny saving work quotes

New funny saving work quotes 👇

All funny saving work quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

38 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

24 shares on Slack this month:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

97 shares on Reddit this month:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

11 shares on Slack this month:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,498

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Travelling through the US by car is beautiful because you feel like a blood cell in a very sick man’s body.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

They should invent a “stay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Going viral on WeChat:

Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

Seen just now on X:

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

Trending via Snapchat:

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

Trending via Telegram:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

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