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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I disagree with my politics.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

825 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,987

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,987

Updated

59 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

A dating app for people who suck at flirting called Fumble.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Making waves on Messenger:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Shared recently on Slack:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Freshly posted on X:

Parents will give you a lecture about fake friends and then get scammed by their own siblings.

Just shared via X:

The only thing limiting what you can put in a sandwich is your imagination and the laws of physics.

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Funny scenic route quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

825 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,987

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,987

Updated

59 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Just shared via Facebook:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Spotted on Messenger:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Freshly posted on X:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

Going viral on Facebook:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Seen just now on Messenger:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

Going viral on Telegram:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Live now on YouTube:

How much chocolate is too much chocolate before it is technically no longer a salad?

Shared recently on Messenger:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

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