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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2429 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,591

Funny Quotes Topics

15,261

Funny Quotes Images

12,591

Updated

49 minutes ago

Users Online

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Making waves on Facebook:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Seen just now on WeChat:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Going viral on Slack:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Trending via WeChat:

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Just landed via Discord:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

Just landed via Facebook:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Breaking via X:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

Shared recently on Discord:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Making waves on Slack:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2429 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,591

Funny Quotes Topics

15,261

Funny Quotes Images

12,591

Updated

49 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Making waves on Slack:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok,” yeah, well, I wipe away the hours conversing with the flowers.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Live now on Telegram:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Just shared via Reddit:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Live now on TikTok:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

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