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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

If a woman watches a TV show alone, who answers all of her questions?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,259

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t work for donuts.

Making waves on Facebook:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Just landed via Messenger:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

Trending via WhatsApp:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Spotted on Facebook:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Breaking via Threads:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

73 shares on Slack this month:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

70 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

12 shares on Discord this month:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a retard.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,639

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

I read all your bumper stickers and now we’re both stupid.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Going bananas on WeChat:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Making waves on Threads:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Making waves on Reddit:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Freshly posted on Discord:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

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