Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

People are always saying “not today, Satan” but what if we just hear him out.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I was born in the right generation. I love bedrotting and scrolling through Twitter all day.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,730

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Going viral on Reddit:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

Going viral on Slack:

Me, whenever I can easily do some yoga pose, “This can’t be right.”

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Trending via Pinterest:

It’s so hot, I just saw a squirrel fanning its nuts.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My superpower? I can look you dead in the face while you’re talking and not hear a damn word you said.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Funny Secret Service quotes

New funny Secret Service quotes 👇

All funny Secret Service quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Instagram this month:

What if we kissed while watching the decay of our society?

87 shares on Threads this month:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

65 shares on Discord this month:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

30 shares on Slack this month:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,418

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Going viral on Slack:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Seen just now on Messenger:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Making waves on TikTok:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Trending via YouTube:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Making waves on YouTube:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Going bananas on Telegram:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

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