Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,613

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Seen just now on Slack:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.

Making waves on Slack:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Just landed via Slack:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

Funny self diagnose quotes

New funny self diagnose quotes 👇

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

0

2 months ago

animal, diagnose, diagnosis, googled, humor, i, internet, know, quirky, raccoon, self, self diagnose, sure, symptoms

Someone from 🇦🇪 has recently copied this quote.

41 shares on YouTube this month.

All funny self diagnose quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on X this month:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I disagree with everyone and think relationships should be easy.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

42 shares on Facebook this month:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

63 shares on Messenger this month:

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

68 shares on Slack this month:

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Hey, I’ve been thinking, and I think you should think for me.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Just shared via TikTok:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Trending via Twitch:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

Going viral on Telegram:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Trending via Discord:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Spotted on TikTok:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Making waves on Threads:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny self diagnose quotes

New funny self diagnose quotes 👇

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

All funny self diagnose quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨