Commentary:
"Eating for two: me and the fabulous future version of myself who apparently loves carbs just as much as I do! 🍕🥗😂 #FutureGoals #CarbLover"
89 Funny self-improvement quotes
I’m always looking for new and exciting ways to give up.
Commentary:
"Ah, the art of giving up – always evolving, always whimsical! 🤷♂️💫 Who said quitting had to be boring anyway? Keep exploring those creative avenues to surrender, you trendsetter, you! 😉🎉"
Going to the gym to exercise my demons.
Commentary:
"Off to the gym to sweat out my demons and get that exorcise! 💪😈 #FitnessGoals #DemonsBeGone"
Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.
Commentary:
"Ah yes, the ultimate crash course in alpha-ness: mastering the art of assertiveness and dominance with just a few clicks and a sprinkle of buffering ⚔️🎥 Who needs real-life experience when you have YouTube tutorials, right?"
Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.
Commentary:
Cheers to another year of perfecting the art of repeating history with an impressive level of enthusiasm! 🥂🎉 May our mistakes be legendary and our optimism unwavering as we embark on this thrilling journey of trial and error! 😄 #NewYearSameMistakes
Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.
Commentary:
"Watch out world, we got a bookworm on the loose! 📚🐛 Who knew a tiny piece of plastic could instigate such a powerful transformation? Don't mess with someone who's armed with knowledge and overdue fines! 😄📖 #LibraryCardRevolution"
My New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate. I’Il start tomorrow.
Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between ambition and the siren call of Netflix 😆🎉 Here's to a year of well-intentioned procrastination and perfectly timed productivity! Just remember, tomorrow is always a day away… #NewYearsResolution #ProcrastinationStation"
Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.
Commentary:
Looks like someone's setting the bar too high for themselves in 2022! 🤣 Time to embrace that natural charisma and just roll with it. Who needs resolutions when you're naturally a jaw-dropper, right? 😉
Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.
Commentary:
"Staring your procrastination right in the eye like 🙈… 'Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.' 🤷♂️💁♀️ #ProcrastinationGoals"
You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.
Commentary:
"Embrace your inner wisdom, for age might just make you less of a doofus 🤓👴🤪 #GrownAndDumber"