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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

You may think no one is there for you, but there’s laundry. Laundry is always there for you.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Not a religious man but I do say a short prayer whenever I open a gas station restroom door.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,279

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I only like when it rains when I’m home.

Freshly posted on Slack:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Making waves on Messenger:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Going bananas on Slack:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

What’s a positive thought for beginners? I’ve been getting into optimism lately.

Funny senior year quotes

New funny senior year quotes 👇

All funny senior year quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on X this month:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

24 shares on X this month:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

90 shares on Threads this month:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

99 shares on Facebook this month:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If onion powder is dehydrated onions blitzed into powder, how much onion powder would I need to consume to have eaten a whole onion?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,318

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. I got caught up at home being happy.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I sent you a message telepathically and you didn’t respond. Are you mad at me?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Spotted on Facebook:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Just landed via TikTok:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Making waves on Snapchat:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next, you’re preheating the bathroom before you go in for a shower.

Making waves on X:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

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