Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Unfortunately, I wasn’t built for casual dating, I’m only built for intense soul crushing love at first sight.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

“Tom Cruise does his own stunts!” Okay cool, but so do I.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,478

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Going viral on Slack:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Shared recently on Discord:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

Just landed via Telegram:

Yes, I upload photos with filters because I want to look good. If you want to see the ugly side of me, come to my house.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Just landed via X:

“I’m pretty good with money unless I leave my house or have access to the internet.”

Trending via Messenger:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I wish rage burned calories. I would be so skinny.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Funny sexiest quotes

Funny sexiest quotes bring the perfect blend of laughter and charm to spice up your day! 😄🔥 Whether you’re flirting, sharing with friends, or just in the mood for some cheeky vibes, these witty gems will have you grinning and blushing at the same time. 😉💬 Get ready to turn up the heat and the humor with clever lines that keep things light, sexy, and oh-so-fun! 🎉💖

New funny sexiest quotes 👇

All funny sexiest quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Facebook this month:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

50 shares on X this month:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

27 shares on X this month:

Asian parents give you unmoanable names so you can focus on your studies.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

39 shares on Threads this month:

We are gathered here today because our ancestors didn’t have condoms.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,563

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Breaking via Messenger:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Trending via WeChat:

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

Live now on Slack:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

Just landed via Discord:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Trending via X:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴