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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

America is truly the best country in the world at not learning from their mistakes.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Nobody knows my next move. Not even me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Jan 7, 2026

3,482

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

Broadcasted on Discord:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Going viral on TikTok:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Live now on X:

Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.

Making waves on YouTube:

People with ADHD be like “I can’t fry an egg, I got too much going on”.

Trending via Twitch:

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

Just shared via X:

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Funny shoveling quotes

Funny shoveling quotes ❄️ bring a lighthearted twist to the chilly chore of clearing snow! Whether you’re battling a blizzard or just a dusting, these witty gems will make you smile 😄 and maybe even enjoy the shovel dance a little more. Ready to turn frostbite into laughter? Grab your gloves 🧤 and let’s dig into some snowy humor! ⛄️✨

New funny shoveling quotes 👇

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

0

2 months ago

enthusiasm, humor, melt, own, procrastination, seasonal, shoveling, snow, time, weather, where, winter, year

Someone from 🇹🇱 has recently bookmarked this quote.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month.
Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

0

2 months ago

chaos, children, cleaning, house, humor, north, North Pole, parenting, pole, shoveling, snow, struggle

Someone from 🇲🇿 has recently bookmarked this quote.

18 shares on Messenger this month.
I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

0

2 months ago

activity, heat, humor, i, imagine, irony, outdoor, outdoor activity, shoveling, snow, struggle, weather, winter

Someone from 🇹🇻 has recently copied this quote.

85 shares on Instagram this month.

All funny shoveling quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on X this month:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

32 shares on Facebook this month:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

28 shares on Discord this month:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

My computer: Consider changing your password. Me: Consider fighting me in the streets.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Work for a living? In this economy?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,420

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Commenting “AI slop” under pictures of my friends’ kids opening presents.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Just landed via Threads:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Making waves on Instagram:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Going viral on Messenger:

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

Spotted on Reddit:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Sorry, I’m late. I found my old CD collection.

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