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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,299

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Breaking via Threads:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Shared recently on X:

I don’t even want a new year this year. I’ll take a lightly used 2006, if it’s available.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Making waves on Messenger:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Just shared via TikTok:

Tested positive for being single af

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Funny sleepy girl quotes

New funny sleepy girl quotes 👇

All funny sleepy girl quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Twitch this month:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Idea: An app that tells you where that bruise came from.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

71 shares on X this month:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

77 shares on Messenger this month:

Imagine a refund on all the money you spent on alcohol.

14 shares on Slack this month:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,375

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the Ph. D.! Why are you attacking me? I’m so tired.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Live now on X:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I thrive in a waiting room. You need me to sit in a chair and look at my phone? No worries, love, I do this at home.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Going viral on Instagram:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Just landed via YouTube:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Live now on WeChat:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Just landed via Slack:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

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