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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I hope this email kills us both.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Apparently, “I just don’t want to” is not a valid reason when your boss asks you why you’re not coming in today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,994

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,994

Updated

12 seconds ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

Going viral on X:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Reported on Telegram:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Trending via Pinterest:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Just shared via Reddit:

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

Trending via Pinterest:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,994

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,994

Updated

12 seconds ago

Users Online

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

I’m sick of getting woken up at 6am by the bin men. I just want a nice sleep but they always insist that I get out of the bin before they collect it.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s, you’re too old to sit on the floor and put furniture together.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do something. Show them you can’t.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

How dare this person in traffic hold me up for seconds on the way to a place that doesn’t require my immediate presence?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Trending via YouTube:

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

Making waves on Reddit:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Just shared via Snapchat:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

Just landed via WeChat:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Just shared via X:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Trending via Slack:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Spotted on WeChat:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Going viral on X:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

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