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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

What doesn’t kill you will text you in 5 months to ask “What are you doing?”

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,921

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

Trending via Snapchat:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Going viral on TikTok:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Broadcasted on X:

One of the toughest jobs in parenting is serving the inevitable eviction notice on your kid’s pillow fort.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Going viral on X:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Going bananas on X:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Home » Funny Stoked Quotes

Funny stoked quotes

New funny stoked quotes 👇

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

0

2 months ago

alien, aliens, confused, extraterrestrial, help, humor, invasion, leaders, offer, overthrow, reaction, show, stoked, super

All funny stoked quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on TikTok this month:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

59 shares on Slack this month:

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

99 shares on Threads this month:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every time you rub your eyes, they should change color a little.

66 shares on Discord this month:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

Going viral on Threads:

I need to consult the woods about this.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Spotted on Discord:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Going viral on WeChat:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Going bananas on Messenger:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Just shared via Facebook:

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny stoked quotes

New funny stoked quotes 👇

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

All funny stoked quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨