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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,400

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Just shared via Telegram:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Making waves on Messenger:

The more I practice, the luckier I get.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Just shared via Threads:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

194 Funny stop quotes

More funny stop quotes 👇

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

3 months ago

believe, humor, i, neighbor, Rolex, someone, stole, stop, talking, tomorrow
I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

3 months ago

adventure, cactus, curiosity, humor, irony, know, nature, pain, sharp, stop, touch
I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

3 months ago

bottom, chores, cleaning, here, house, humor, i, irony, just, living, need, sarcasm, stop, top
To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

3 months ago

deserve, honesty, humor, hurt, i, just, me, playing, relationships, sarcasm, say, stop, year

For even more funny stop quotes, hit next 👇

All funny stop quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Twitch this month:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

99 shares on Discord this month:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

16 shares on Discord this month:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

How bad can a decision really be if nobody from the future shows up to stop you?

49 shares on Threads this month:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I love surprising my girl, today she woke up single.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

My recliner and I go way back.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Going bananas on Facebook:

“Are you seeing someone?” Like a hallucination, therapist, or a guy?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Just shared via Twitch:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Spotted on Threads:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

Going bananas on Discord:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

194 Funny stop quotes

More funny stop quotes 👇

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

I’ve touched enough cacti to know they are sharp, but also not enough to stop touching cacti.

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

All funny stop quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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