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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Who is praying on my downfall right now and can you stop?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

People that tell us what sex gods they are, what do you want us to do with that information?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

830 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,992

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,992

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

Just landed via X:

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Hey, are you an aurora borealis or why am I waiting in vain for you to appear?

Seen just now on X:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Shared recently on Instagram:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Going viral on Messenger:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

830 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,992

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,992

Updated

6 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Breaking via Threads:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Just landed via Telegram:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Making waves on Reddit:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Going viral on Discord:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Trending via X:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Trending via YouTube:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Just shared via Slack:

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant “Autumn,” not the collapse of civilization.

Spotted on Slack:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

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