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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

You come from dust and you’ll return to dust, so that’s why I never dust. It could be someone I know.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

659 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,821

Funny Quotes Topics

13,796

Funny Quotes Images

10,821

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,416

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

When you are stressed you eat ice cream, cake, chocolate and sweets, because stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

Shared recently on Threads:

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

Reported on Discord:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Just shared via Messenger:

I need an emergency cheeseburger.

Just shared via TikTok:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Going viral on Reddit:

When I was little, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with what my parents chose. When I look in old photo albums, l realize that they didn’t care either.

Spotted on Telegram:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Breaking via Reddit:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Just landed via Twitch:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Reported on X:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology think time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

659 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,821

Funny Quotes Topics

13,796

Funny Quotes Images

10,821

Updated

47 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Making waves on Facebook:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Just shared via Twitch:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Just shared via Threads:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Just shared via Messenger:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Just shared via Facebook:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Shared recently on Messenger:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

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