Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

My friends put their kid to bed and then made us ice cream sundaes, which is exactly what I assumed was happening when my parents put me to bed.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,523

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Going bananas on WeChat:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Making waves on YouTube:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Just landed via WeChat:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Trending via YouTube:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Making waves on X:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Threads this month:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

91 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

42 shares on X this month:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

92 shares on Threads this month:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

39 shares on WeChat this month:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

52 shares on Facebook this month:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

As a childless adult, it is my duty to embrace hobbies and pastimes that my peers cannot, as they have sacrificed their free time to maintain the population. I must vibe and chill, and do fun things, in their honor.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,470

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Making waves on X:

Someone at work just farted and I panicked and said ‘compliments to the chef’.

Making waves on Slack:

Please pray for my husband, he’s struggling to find me.

Trending via WhatsApp:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Spotted on YouTube:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Trending via Messenger:

Never underestimate my ability to fall asleep in a moving vehicle.

Trending via Facebook:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

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