Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I hate when a guy asks “can you cook?” Can you build a house?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,342

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Spotted on Instagram:

Japanese Latina catgirl be like ña.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Shared recently on Threads:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Seen just now on Threads:

My signature move is me looking for my phone that I’m currently holding in my hand.

Trending via Telegram:

Is this art or trash?

Trending via Snapchat:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Funny The Twilight Zone quotes

New funny The Twilight Zone quotes 👇

All funny The Twilight Zone quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

51 shares on Threads this month:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

50 shares on Discord this month:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

53 shares on Slack this month:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

91 shares on Discord this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

78 shares on Facebook this month:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,673

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Excuse me, can you direct me to the nonsense?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Shared recently on Threads:

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Making waves on YouTube:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Seen just now on Telegram:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Living in your parent’s house is free because you pay with your soul.

Going viral on Discord:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

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