Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

My parents told me Santa wasn’t real when I was 16. Jokes on them, because I’m at the mall right now, and guess who’s here.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,603

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Trending via Pinterest:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn’t be allowed to talk.

Seen just now on Slack:

Today is one of those days where I have to remind myself that you’re not allowed to strangle people.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Spotted on Telegram:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Just landed via Slack:

Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Funny theater seat quotes

New funny theater seat quotes 👇

All funny theater seat quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Messenger this month:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

42 shares on Messenger this month:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

My favorite unit of measurement is smithereens.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

96 shares on YouTube this month:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

16 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,421

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

The only reason I insist on returning to the office is because my cat needs a break from me staring at him all day.

Trending via YouTube:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

Just landed via Twitch:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Breaking via Telegram:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

People who grew up with money will look you in the eyes and ask you something insane like, “Do you ski?”

Shared recently on Twitch:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Seen just now on X:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴