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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Got possessed by a demon once, and everyone was like, “OMG, did you do something with your hair?”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

One day my kids will move out and discover the dishes don’t clean themselves and I feel for them. I really do.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2117 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,279

Funny Quotes Topics

15,013

Funny Quotes Images

12,279

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Just shared via Discord:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Just shared via Messenger:

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Shared recently on YouTube:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Spotted on YouTube:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Freshly posted on Discord:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Just shared via Messenger:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2117 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,279

Funny Quotes Topics

15,013

Funny Quotes Images

12,279

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Shared recently on Reddit:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

Just shared via TikTok:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Reported on Facebook:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Trending via Slack:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Live now on Threads:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Live now on Threads:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Hello pollen, my old friend, my nose is running once again.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

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