Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

I’m officially at the age where I understand why my parents never wanted to go anywhere after work.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Girl dinner, but it’s the hearts of men who wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,361

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Going viral on Telegram:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Breaking via Messenger:

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Making waves on Discord:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Shared recently on Slack:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Going bananas on Twitch:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Spotted on Reddit:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Funny two-edged quotes

New funny two-edged quotes 👇

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

0

2 months ago

better, cost, humor, i, introspection, irony, know, knowing, myself, self-awareness, sword, two-edged, two-edged sword, yay

Someone from 🇸🇨 has recently shared this quote.

39 shares on Snapchat this month.

All funny two-edged quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

48 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Spotted on X:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Just landed via TikTok:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Just landed via Threads:

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Trending via YouTube:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Shared recently on Threads:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Just shared via WeChat:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny two-edged quotes

New funny two-edged quotes 👇

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

All funny two-edged quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨