Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

1 minute ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Live now on Snapchat:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Just shared via Threads:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Just landed via Facebook:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Just landed via Facebook:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Just landed via WeChat:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Live now on Messenger:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Just landed via Reddit:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I drive regularly so that my brain doesn’t forget swear words.

Home » Funny Two-edged Quotes

Funny two-edged quotes

New funny two-edged quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Commentary:
"Ah, self-awareness, the double-edged lightsaber of personal knowledge 🔪. It's like finding out you're both the hero and the comic relief in your life's movie 🎬. Sure, knowing yourself is great, but the cost? Let's just say ignorance might've been blissful, but it had terrible taste in music 🎵."

For even more funny two-edged quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny two-edged quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

1 minute ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Live now on Instagram:

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Spotted on Threads:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I am cassette tape years old.

Trending via Threads:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Seen just now on Discord:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Trending via Facebook:

Grammar is important. It’s the difference between feeling your nuts and feeling you’re nuts.

Freshly posted on Threads:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴