Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,757

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Just landed via TikTok:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

Making waves on Reddit:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Spotted on Twitch:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Trending via Telegram:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Spotted on Facebook:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

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All funny waterbed quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

16 shares on Reddit this month:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

26 shares on Discord this month:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

31 shares on Threads this month:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The difference between me and Superman is that he has super vision, and I need supervision.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s okay if you don’t like me, not everyone has good taste.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I shaved my legs today and it was the fastest 3lbs I’ve ever lost in my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Kim Kardashian wants her ashes to be scattered in the sea after her death. As if there wasn’t enough plastic there already.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Live now on LinkedIn:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Just shared via Twitch:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Just shared via YouTube:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Going viral on Twitch:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Just shared via Threads:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I finally became a butterfly, and everyone’s already asking what’s next.

Just shared via Reddit:

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

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