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Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,270

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Seen just now on X:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Going viral on Messenger:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Just landed via Reddit:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

Shared recently on Threads:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Going viral on Twitch:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Funny weightlifting quotes

New funny weightlifting quotes 👇

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

3 days ago

arm, arms, exercise, fitness, hair, humor, just, lift, people, ponytail, putting, strength, struggle, tired, weightlifting, weights

All funny weightlifting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

39 shares on X this month:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

53 shares on X this month:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

49 shares on WeChat this month:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

59 shares on X this month:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I used to think the cat was dumb for staring out the window, waiting for birds, but I’d probably stare too, if occasionally a pizza flew by.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

Breaking via TikTok:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Going viral on YouTube:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Going viral on Threads:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Just landed via TikTok:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

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Funny weightlifting quotes

New funny weightlifting quotes 👇

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

All funny weightlifting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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