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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Never vacuuming so I don’t disrupt my carpet’s natural micro biome.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Having a job ruined my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Shared recently on Twitch:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Spotted on TikTok:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Shared recently on Discord:

Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

Just landed via Facebook:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Trending via Slack:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Just landed via Instagram:

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,426

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Seen just now on Threads:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Just landed via Slack:

They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Just shared via Slack:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Trending via TikTok:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Reported on Instagram:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Trending via LinkedIn:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

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