Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

A girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Liking a song isn’t enough, I need to be able to call the artist and tell them they did a great job.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

I am single, please disturb me!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Just shared via Threads:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Breaking via Twitch:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Instructions that really *stack* up! 😂🧱➕📏

adult, adult humor, boner, erection, getting, humor, instruction, instructions, Lego, me, telling, toy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

0

2 months ago

communication, company, email, etiquette, humor, know, office, people, reply, work
I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

0

2 months ago

app, bet, calculator, humor, i, pretty, shame, wrap, wrapped
I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

0

2 months ago

chance, chances, give, goodbye, humor, i, just, limits, never, relationship, second, second chance, wit
And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

0

2 months ago

disappointment, expectation, getting, humor, me, money, rich, unexpectedly, week
I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

0

4 days ago

back, different, exam, humor, i, person, procrastination, question, questions, skip, student, test-taking
I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

0

2 months ago

anything, bad, bad hair day, black, black cape, cape, day, hair, humor, incorrect, incorrect part, incorrectly, lights, me, never, parted, sadness, salon, seen, self-deprecation, under, wet, wet hair

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

Salted, and I cannot stress this enough, butter.

52 shares on Discord this month:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

88 shares on WeChat this month:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. I don’t even know what it means, but I’ve had enough.

45 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Expiration date? More like spoiler alert.

Just shared via Twitch:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Just landed via Discord:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Making waves on Twitch:

Pouring Diet Coke directly into my gunshot wound.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Seen just now on YouTube:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Going viral on YouTube:

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨