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Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the infamous plot by Big Text to exploit our tipsy tendencies and flood everyone's notifications! 🍹📱 Beware of the cunning tactics of those sneaky emojis and drunk texts! 😂📲 #TextsOnTheRocks"

activity, big, Big Text, communication, drinking, drunk, getting, humor, invention, send, social, social activity, text, texts

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

1 month ago
advice, communication, humor, husband, know, knows, marriage, marriage advice, mastery, relationship, shout, take, thing, understanding
Half princess, half menace.

1 month ago
contrast, duality, half, humor, menace, personality, playful, princess
I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

1 month ago
age, being, honesty, humor, just, mean, old, pretend, relationships, too
I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

1 month ago
backwards, chore, dishwasher, feel, feeling, humor, i, just, mundane, mundane task, reverse, sarcasm, something, task
Work beers should be a daily thing.

5 months ago
beer, beers, culture, daily, daily routine, humor, office, office culture, relaxation, routine, should, socializing, thing, work
Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

1 month ago
alarm, blast, car, car alarm, everyone, humor, knows, making, name, night, should, sound

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

When someone has “Do Not Disturb” on, it’s like, oh, okay, I didn’t realize the great philosopher was in their hour of seclusion. Pardon me for even daring to enter their precious mind palace.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Going viral on YouTube:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Breaking via Threads:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Just landed via TikTok:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

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Activity Log ✨

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Half princess, half menace.

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Unpopular opinion: we really grew up in the best era to be a kid, and the worst era to be an adult.

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Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Half princess, half menace.

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

Work beers should be a daily thing.

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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