Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.
  • Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.
  • Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.
  • Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.
  • A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’
  • Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.