Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

“I didn’t vote for this.” — people who absolutely voted for this but thought this would only hurt people they hate.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Broadcasted on Instagram:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Live now on YouTube:

Bought a house plant so I wouldn’t be the only one dying of dehydration around here.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Spotted on Discord:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Trending via Threads:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Making waves on WeChat:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the bag thinks it's gonna have a second date 🍬😅 #OneNightCandyStand

bag, candy, giant, giant size, humor, me, necessary, resealable, size, snack

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

0

2 months ago

attitude, even, humor, humor quote, i, me, option, perspective, sarcasm, someone, thinking, told, wit
Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad decision, decision, food, humor, indulgence, queso, sexier, sexy, temptation, thing
I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

0

2 months ago

25, Aldi, bargain, behavior, believe, buy, cart, consumer, consumer behavior, deal, even, good, humor, i, impulse, impulse buy, just, pass, shopping, shopping cart, still, too, unexpected, unexpected use
Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

0

2 months ago

alert, brain, emptiness, empty, health, humor, mental, mental health, stomach, wit
That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

0

2 months ago

again, awkward, awkward moment, experience, fashion, fitting, fitting room, get it off, humor, know, moment, relatable, room, shop, shopping, shopping experience, something, try, try-on
I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

0

2 months ago

age, am, back, daily, daily habit, day, every, front, habit, humor, i, newspaper, old, read, reading, single

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Taylor Swift should write a song about when your sleeves keep rolling down every time you wash the dishes.

29 shares on X this month:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

53 shares on Reddit this month:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

56 shares on Slack this month:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

72 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

Going bananas on Snapchat:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Going viral on Messenger:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Going viral on Slack:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Seen just now on WeChat:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

Spotted on YouTube:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Giant-sized bag of candy: I’m resealable. Me: That won’t be necessary.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨