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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

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Mondays are for pretending. Real work begins on Tuesday.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

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No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,732

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Live now on Facebook:

First time buying fireworks, and I wasn’t sure I’d picked the right ones until the salesman gave me a wink and high-foured me.

Trending via WeChat:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

Making waves on Reddit:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Just landed via Facebook:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Just shared via Telegram:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Trending via WhatsApp:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
Ah, nothing like a scalding shower to exfoliate away the existential dread 😂🛁🔥

boiling, boiling water, coping, coping mechanism, dealing, girlhood, hot, humor, life, mechanism, self-care, shower, sitting, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

2 months ago
aging, energy, function, humor, i, lifestyle, night, night owl, older, owl, person, sleep, time, tiredness, used
Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

1 month ago
brain, brain damage, butterfly, damage, disappointment, give, humor, just, me, nobody, relationship, sarcasm
Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

3 months ago
humor, loud, louder, motivation, music, need, problem, problem-solving, shit, solving, sometimes, sort, turn
I have thought one billion times about everything.

2 months ago
billion, everything, exaggeration, humor, hyperbole, i, overthinking, thinking, thought, times
I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

2 weeks ago
aspiration, bless, blessing, financial, financial stability, generosity, God, humor, i, money, others, pocket, pockets, stability, stable, wealth
Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

5 months ago
beach, close, comfort, experience, feeling, human, nap, never, post, post-beach, relaxation, serenity, shower, throw, touch

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let’s be positive here.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Seen just now on Messenger:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Spotted on X:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Just shared via X:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Trending via Reddit:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

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Activity Log ✨

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

I have thought one billion times about everything.

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

There are two quantities of popcorn: not enough and what have I done

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

My worst fear is dating someone who loves their ex like my exes love me.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

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Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

I have thought one billion times about everything.

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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